How important is it to listen to what people say about you?
Number 2 of Dr. Mikhail Litvak's "22 rules that will change your life for the better".
Yesterday I reframed number 1 (see previous post on https://www.margibrownash.com/single-post/2019/01/13/You-are-the-expert-of-your-own-lives )
Today I am briefly looking at number 2. The original article can be found at https://curiousmindmagazine.com/worlds-leading-psychiatrist-reveals-22-rules-that-will-change-your-life-for-the-better/
Thank you Riley Cooper for writing the article. I do appreciate it. Here my intention is to adapt the 22 points for people I know.
Dear Theatre Community,
Number 2 goes like this: "If you’re satisfied with yourself and you know you’re good, smart, and worthy, you won’t find it necessary that other people think or say the same things about you".
I don't think I have ever met anyone who does not have times where they feel 'not good enough', 'not smart enough' and 'not worthy'. Oh, possibly with the exception of a current world leader. It is a very normal response to difficult situations. We reflect, we sometimes feel bad, then we begin to reframe (what I talked about in the previous post). To feel 'not good enough' is not always a bad thing. In fact it is the very thing that can move us forward. I think some of the most difficult people in the world are those who appear self-satisfied. I love the idea that we strive to be better people, listening more deeply and acting more mindfully, not being satisfied with the status quo.
Is it important to listen to critique some of the time? This is not the same as gossip. But when I listen to a trusted colleague or friend, and in particular, my life partner Bill, the information can be extremely valuable and can help me move into a place of understanding and action. Now when it comes to theatre reviews, I ask Bill to read them first, and always late in the season. If they are good, they buoy the whole company. If they are bad, we do not learn about them till after the season, if at all.
To be given acknowledgement is a very generous act from the giver, and thickens the relationship between the giver and receiver. Of course we don't always expect it (although quite frankly sometimes I do from Bill), but when it comes, it reinforces our achievement and makes for a thicker relational network. We are relational beings after all. We are not silos. So the more we talk with each other, using collaborative and careful language, and notice and acknowledge each other's achievements, the deeper our experiences and the more likely we will repeat our good works.